What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
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I used to ask myself this question all the time but in a different way: What would you tell your younger self if given the opportunity?
My answer used to be: Don’t date that guy, he will break your heart. Stop being rebellious to your mother, she knows what’s best for you. You need to listen to your family sometimes, it could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Now? My answer would change. Instead of warning her, the conversation would go like this.
You are going to encounter some horrible relationships. You will date someone who will break your heart into a million pieces because of the lies of having another woman. You will date someone else who will try to take you off of this planet because he hates who you are (A woman). You will at times be treated like a child even when you are an adult who can make your own decisions.
You will finally get old enough to move out of your parent’s apartment and into your own. You will experience freedom like never before. You will end up making the most horrible mistakes in your life with your ‘boyfriends’. You will realize that they want nothing more than to tear you down and make you less than what you are. You will suffer some devastating heartbreaks, the kind that could easily land you in the hospital if you are not careful.
You will feel like you are alone. You will eventually realize that you were afraid of being alone, to take a chance on yourself. You will gather the strength to leave the toxic relationships behind and be grateful that you are alive. You will come back to the one that saved you from leaving this earth for good. You will continue to be grateful for waking up everyday to see the sun rise, knowing that there was a strong possibility that it could have went a different path.
Once you are done with the fake fairy tale you told yourself for eleven years, you will finally be able to breathe. You will finally become yourself again. But then, you will encounter a huge bump in the road…two actually. It will take your breath away. You will wonder what your life will be like once the people that brought you to this earth is gone forever.
It will be scary, you will cry real tears. You will want to wail into the abyss, but you won’t. You will be strong for your family. You will be there for the one that took care of you all your life. You won’t break down even if you want to. You will reach out to the one who you knows heals all. He will not grant you your wish. You will become sad at first.
But then, you will know that he was doing it for you. He knew that you would do anything to say and take care of this person. You would do the honorable thing like you always do. But that time was finished. It was time to live your life and do what was best for you. It was time to live without the restriction of someone holding you back. You will grieve for a whole year.
But then, you decide at 40 years of age that you agree to live your life. You pack very little and throw the rest away. You apply for a passport. You apply for a visa to leave one country for another. You will have the experience of working with children for over thirteen years. That experience plus the degrees you will obtain will land you in South Korea…No, not Japan, no not France…South Korea. You will teach there as an ESL teacher.
There will be more plans for you…I just don’t know what those are yet. Once I get there, I will let you know. Until then, just live your life. I know this isn’t making sense to you now but I promise you it will in the future, trust me.
It’s okay. Just continue on with your life. Don’t worry about what lies ahead. Despite the struggles that I have told you, You will have a happy life indeed.
Dominique Gibson
Dominique Gibson is a self-published author who has written a total of five books and is the author of the Truson S.E.T. Series, a book series that involves half-human, half-animal hybrids with supernatural powers who finds their true soulmates while battling deadly criminials. She is currently working on her next book in the series. Click down on the links below for more information.
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